sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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