Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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