If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize