I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
