So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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