Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize