I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Randomize
