Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize