i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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