I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
