Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
