I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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