There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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