also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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