Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
so let's talk penis.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
