Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
