That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
