uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
