Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
