He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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