I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
