I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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