He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
