i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
