I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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