woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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