watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize