i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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