Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
