So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize