i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
