We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
