when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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