so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
