god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The feeling are messing with the penis
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
