i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
