i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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