I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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