Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
