WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize