What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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