Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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