and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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