Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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