My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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