how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
