His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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