Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
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