This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
