How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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