I wanna passion pit in your ass
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
