Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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