He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
