my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Randomize
