I'm drive I can fine osifer
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
