I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
