time to smoke my breakfast
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
You left your phone here
Wait...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
