Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Randomize
