My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
