paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
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had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
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Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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