just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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