nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
try to milk me bitch
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