she woke up with a sticky ear
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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