I love black thongs
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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