youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
